“It was in a church in Munich that I saw him—a balding, heavyset man
in a gray overcoat, a brown felt hat clutched between his hands. People
were filing out of the basement room where I had just spoken, moving
along the rows of wooden chairs to the door at the rear. It was 1947 and
I had come from Holland to defeated Germany with the message that God
forgives.
“It was the truth they needed most to hear in that bitter, bombed-out
land, and I gave them my favorite mental picture. Maybe because the sea
is never far from a Hollander’s mind, I liked to think that that’s
where forgiven sins were thrown. ‘When we confess our sins,’ I said,
‘God casts them into the deepest ocean, gone forever. …’
“The solemn faces stared back at me, not quite daring to believe.
There were never questions after a talk in Germany in 1947. People stood
up in silence, in silence collected their wraps, in silence left the
room.
“And that’s when I saw him, working his way forward against the
others. One moment I saw the overcoat and the brown hat; the next, a
blue uniform and a visored cap with its skull and crossbones. It came
back with a rush: the huge room with its harsh overhead lights; the
pathetic pile of dresses and shoes in the center of the floor; the shame
of walking naked past this man. I could see my sister’s frail form
ahead of me, ribs sharp beneath the parchment skin. Betsie, how thin you were!
[Betsie and I had been arrested for concealing Jews in our home
during the Nazi occupation of Holland; this man had been a guard at
Ravensbruck concentration camp where we were sent.]
“Now he was in front of me, hand thrust out: ‘A fine message,
Fräulein! How good it is to know that, as you say, all our sins are at
the bottom of the sea!’
“And I, who had spoken so glibly of forgiveness, fumbled in my
pocketbook rather than take that hand. He would not remember me, of
course—how could he remember one prisoner among those thousands of
women?
“But I remembered him and the leather crop swinging from his belt. I
was face-to-face with one of my captors and my blood seemed to freeze.
“ ‘You mentioned Ravensbruck in your talk,’ he was saying, ‘I was a guard there.’ No, he did not remember me.
“ ‘But since that time,’ he went on, ‘I have become a Christian. I
know that God has forgiven me for the cruel things I did there, but I
would like to hear it from your lips as well. Fräulein,’ again the hand
came out—’will you forgive me?’
“And I stood there—I whose sins had again and again to be
forgiven—and could not forgive. Betsie had died in that place—could he
erase her slow terrible death simply for the asking?
“It could not have been many seconds that he stood there—hand held
out—but to me it seemed hours as I wrestled with the most difficult
thing I had ever had to do.
“For I had to do it—I knew that. The message that God forgives has a
prior condition: that we forgive those who have injured us. ‘If you do
not forgive men their trespasses,’ Jesus says, ‘neither will your Father
in heaven forgive your trespasses.’
“I knew it not only as a commandment of God, but as a daily
experience. Since the end of the war I had had a home in Holland for
victims of Nazi brutality. Those who were able to forgive their former
enemies were able also to return to the outside world and rebuild their
lives, no matter what the physical scars. Those who nursed their
bitterness remained invalids. It was as simple and as horrible as that.
“And still I stood there with the coldness clutching my heart. But
forgiveness is not an emotion—I knew that too. Forgiveness is an act of
the will, and the will can function regardless of the temperature of the
heart. ‘… Help!’ I prayed silently. ‘I can lift my hand. I can do that
much. You supply the feeling.’
“And so woodenly, mechanically, I thrust my hand into the one
stretched out to me. And as I did, an incredible thing took place. The
current started in my shoulder, raced down my arm, sprang into our
joined hands. And then this healing warmth seemed to flood my whole
being, bringing tears to my eyes.
“ ‘I forgive you, brother!’ I cried. ‘With all my heart!’
“For a long moment we grasped each other’s hands, the former guard
and the former prisoner. I had never known God’s love so intensely, as I
did then”
Source: Family Life Education
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